The Adventures and Misadventures of a Neer Do Well Artist Living in Baltimore.

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Location: Baltimore, Maryland, United States

I am a visual artist and writer living in Baltimore. I don't have any artist friends. Frankly, artists scare me, there so darn flaky. The above picture is either of me or proof that I'm a pretty decent artist. My goal is to be a self sufficient artist, whereas I wouldn't have to do something else in the day in order to eke out an existence. I also like to attend various cultural events around town. I go to plays, the symphony, etc. Also, I have Asperger's Syndrome. I found this out recently and it has explained a heck of a lot as to why I am as I am.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Despite going to bed later than usual it looks like I will be on time for work two days in row.

Yesterday, the light rail driver that stalled at each stop made me just a couple of minutes late. The bus driver today of the #20 bus kind of reminded me of Pearl Bailey with a mid sized teeny weeny afro. The Republican nominee for city council in my district got on the bus. He usually takes the bus everywhere. I believe he is developmentally disabled. I think it was brave of him to run for office despite the odds. My district is predominently Democratic and African American. This morning my right hand is not tingling like it was yesterday. I believe I found out the cause of the tingling hand when I went to visit my father yesterday.

Everyday after work I head over to the nursing home to check on my Dad before I start dinner. His nursing home is just up the street from where I live. So its not an out of the way place for me to visit. The total walking time from the nursing home to my home is about eight minutes.

Anyway, I went to visit him as I usually do and found to my shock that he was not there. I asked the male nurse who works on floor and sees me daily. He asked my name. I told him. He checked his book and told me that he could not tell me where my father was because my name was not on the list of people who he was authorized to give information to. The only people on that list are my sister and my two nieces. This is extremely ironic because they rarely visit him. In fact they have never seen him since he moved into the nursing home. Im the only one who is there daily. I felt left out and dejected.

Maybe they all hate me and feel Im not worthy of knowing what is going on with my father. Im feeling miserable for being shut out. The only consolation I have is that my brother and my nephew were also left off the list. The male nurse was nice enough to see the situation that was going on and gave me my nieces phone number to call. He told me that they had contacted her this morning to tell her they moved him. I was surprised by this because her phone has been disconnected. It was her super secret cell phone number that he gave me. The only way I can get contact information from her is not from her but her sister. I feel that she does not for some reason like me. I wonder what it was I did to maker her shut me out of my own fathers life as well as her own. Whenever I come over to visit she usually hides out in her room. Everyone says HI in the house except her. Why does she hate me?

Anyway, I e-mailed my other niece and she told me that she did not know anything until she came in. She got a text message from her sister but it did not say what hospital my father was in. I was paralyzed with fear. I was stuttering when I was talking to the other sister. It was so severe that my niece thought the phone was breaking up. She had no idea that when nervous, frightened, etc. I stutter.

Today I have on a 3/4 sleeve light blue v-neck sweater, a blue and white pinstripe blouse underneath, and stone washed jeans along with Athletic Works Joanie running shoe.


link | posted by gail at 5:09 PM |


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