Yesterday, I decide to go to the opening of the Phoenix Rising Mail Art Show at the Creative Alliance. I went because I wanted to see if my work made it to the gallery. Come to think of it this is the very first opening I’ve been to at the Creative Alliance or any other gallery for that matter. I tend to avoid openings. I prefer to come back and visit my artwork a few days after openings just to see if it’s really there. I always have this fear that the gallery owner might change there mind at the last minute and decide not to display my work. I usually end up having panic attacks about attending gallery receptions for fear my wok won’t be there.

Anyway, it was bitter cold outside on the evening of the opening. Jed Dodds, the artistic director of the Creative Alliance was sitting at the front desk. He asked me curtly, why I was there. I told him that I wanted to see the mail art show. He directed me upstairs. Sometimes I wonder if he would have been as curt to me if I were white. It was opening night for goodness sake why else would anyone be there tonight?

I went upstairs. There was mail art hanging everywhere on the walls and on a clothesline. I decided not to look around specifically for my work but instead to view everything I saw. If I saw my work fine, if not then, “Oh, well...”

While looking around I thought maybe they’d have light finger food on trays like they have in the movies or on tv shows when they show art openings. All that was there was a cooler filled with beer. I don’t drink. Then it happened I spotted my two postcards hanging on a line. They looked like actual pieces of artwork! I felt relieved that they were really there! I kind of relaxed and then Rev. Paul came up to me and told me about the exhibit. He asked if I was a participant. I of course told him, No.

I don’t quiet know why I did this. I’ve been exchanging mail art with him for a while without formally meeting him face to face. Why I couldn't sum up the courage to say, “Yes! I’m one of the artists whose work is on display here tonight!”, is beyond me. I guess it was fear of someone finally being able to pin a face to the artwork. My anonymity would be dissolved. I would have to start talking about esoteric things like the creative process and my artwork. I would have to start dressing in black 24-7 and violently ripping apart canvases whenever I’m upset. The simple truth of the matter is that I just like to paint, there’s nothing fancy or esoteric about it, me, or my work.

There’s this woman that works at my company who is an artist. I think her name is Carol. I think that when people meet an artist they are expecting someone like Carol. She’s very pretentious, talkative, giggly and is always changing her hair color and look. I could never be as artsy and outrageous as Carol. I can only be me.

So thus, you’ve learned that I prefer to be anonymous and rarely show up at gallery openings where my work is displayed. If ever I should gather the courage to go to another opening I would never admit that, “Yes, I painted that!”, to anyone there. I would prefer to just blend into the background and mock my own artwork if that’s the general conscientious of the evening.

WHAT I’M WEARING:
Today, I have on a green v-neck sweater. The turtleneck of the day is a cream colored one with a colorful red patchwork design. The pants are blue jeans. The shoes are brown leather lace ups.