MORNING COMMUTE:
Im late. I got little sleep last night and am feeling very nervous and worried. The light rail driver this morning sounded very hood. I could imagine him saying ,“Yo, we about to be heading into Hunt Valley.”

VISITING DAD
Last night I got home from the nursing home as predicted my father was rushed back to the hospital. He was having seizures.

Am I the only reason he is still alive? Does he stay alive just to see me? When I don’t show does he come to the conclusion that it is time for him to leave this mortal world. Thus he gets very sick when I do not show up. So sick that he has to be rushed to the hospital. Maybe Im just being overly superstitious or something.... Maybe there is no connection between my visiting him or not visiting him.

I did not go with him to the emergency room because it was late and Lisa (my niece who’s a nurse) assured me that they probably just took too much fluid off him during dialysis. Even the ambulance workers said the same thing. So this sounds to me like a common occurance, nothing to stress myself over. But still Im stressed and worried.

Lisa says they most likely will draw his blood to get a blood count to see what his electrolyte profile looks like. Then they will give him fluids. Other possible causes for his seizures could have been that he was given the wrong medicine or had an allergic reaction to new medicine. According to the medical staff he had had a seizure earlier in the day and later during my visit. He was also non responsive during dialysis. I was very worried. They kept asking him to open up his eyes. Eventually he came around after I came into the room. The nurse gave him sugar water to revive him further. As far as the seizure goes it was scary seeing him go through something like that. He looked like he was going through a lot of pain and was about to die. He also looked as though he was in danger of swallowing his tongue. Lisa assured me that they do not go through any pain when they have seizures. He does not normally have seizures. This was the very first time I can recall this happening. My sister Carleen says she will be over to visit him on Saturday. I hope that she actually comes over. I feel uncomfortable that it is always me or Uncle Leon that comes over to see him.

WHAT IM WEARING:
Today, Im back to my regular wardrobe. I have on khaki beige pants, a cocoa brown top that has beaded and lace trim around the v-neck line. The blouse is about two sizes too big but to my eyes it is not very obvious. The reason being is that it was cut to snug the body. So instead of fitting tight its loosely draping my body.