The Adventures and Misadventures of a Neer Do Well Artist Living in Baltimore.
I am a visual artist and writer living in Baltimore. I don't have any artist friends. Frankly, artists scare me, there so darn flaky. The above picture is either of me or proof that I'm a pretty decent artist. My goal is to be a self sufficient artist, whereas I wouldn't have to do something else in the day in order to eke out an existence. I also like to attend various cultural events around town. I go to plays, the symphony, etc. Also, I have Asperger's Syndrome. I found this out recently and it has explained a heck of a lot as to why I am as I am.
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Thursday, January 05, 2006
Today is my birthday. I spent it feeling depressed and borderline suicidal. Since I’ve written this entry it is apparent that I have decided not to end it all.
Why am I depressed? I’m 36 and I have no children, husband, or even ex-husband. The vast majority of women in my age range are either married, divorced, or at least have a child.
My eldest niece already has a child and my other niece, her sister, is about to give to birth to her first child. Also my eldest niece is engaged or was engaged. I never really asked her if the wedding was on or off. By the way in case you are wondering both my nieces are in there mid-twenties and not teenagers.
Oh, well, I suppose I was not meant for that type of a life.... I suppose it is best to be happy with what you got. The way I see it, I have peace of mind and do not have to be in constant worry over whether my decisions will have a negative long term effect over the life of another human being that is left in my care. I am free to live my life as I see fit. No worries!
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