The Adventures and Misadventures of a Neer Do Well Artist Living in Baltimore.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

happy-birthday-1, originally uploaded by willisgirl.

Today is my birthday. I spent it feeling depressed and borderline suicidal. Since I’ve written this entry it is apparent that I have decided not to end it all.

Why am I depressed? I’m 36 and I have no children, husband, or even ex-husband. The vast majority of women in my age range are either married, divorced, or at least have a child.

My eldest niece already has a child and my other niece, her sister, is about to give to birth to her first child. Also my eldest niece is engaged or was engaged. I never really asked her if the wedding was on or off. By the way in case you are wondering both my nieces are in there mid-twenties and not teenagers.

Oh, well, I suppose I was not meant for that type of a life.... I suppose it is best to be happy with what you got. The way I see it, I have peace of mind and do not have to be in constant worry over whether my decisions will have a negative long term effect over the life of another human being that is left in my care. I am free to live my life as I see fit. No worries!

1 Comments:

 Queen Esther commented at 2:31 PM~  

i read this post and i thought, hm. i'm about her age. i don't have any kids. no husband, no ex-husband, no boyfriend. i've never shacked up or been engaged or anything. i'm also an artist and a southerner and i live in *gasp!*new york city.

so i get hassled quite a bit by my family about my life and what they think i should be doing with it. but you know what? i think i'm sitting pretty. i've got a fairly clean slate. i've got a clean nose and it's steady on the grindstone. i've got my head on straight and i've got a life that's on purpose. i mean, come on, sister. i've got cousins with babies, too. but they aren't necessarily all that happy. they just didn't have anything better to do. or if they did, they didn't have the guts to pursue it. not like i did.

just about anybody can marry some plumber and make a baby. but not anybody can make art. pick your chin up. if you're going to take an unconventional route, you should be enjoying the trip.

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